So today I randomly thought, hmmm, I wonder how long we’ve been “paper pregnant” waiting on this child? We’re about 7.5 months in- that’s gotta be close to when I had the boys, right?
Well, after looking it up, I laughed as I found out that as of today we’ve been waiting 31 weeks, 5 days. I went into labor at 31 weeks, 6 days, and the boys were born two days later at 32 weeks, 1 day. Sooo… yeah – right. there. Kind of crazy, right?! A few more days and this will be my longest “pregnancy” yet (though I realize that’s not saying much since I skipped about 8 weeks of a normal pregnancy). However, we’d be thrilled for some news now – without any worry of NICU time.
We found out late last week that the ET adoption process is changing with a new PAIR process. Really, this should be a good thing. They are going to “pre-screen” for embassy (the US side of investigations) BEFORE you go to court as pass on the Ethiopian side. Ethically, that is what SHOULD happen and NEEDS to happen–for all the investigations to make sure your child is a true orphan to be done before you pass court and they become legally yours. Our agency was even hopeful that it would mean going back to one more extended trip, which would have been awesome.
However… the unfortunate news is that they expect it to double the time between referral and home. Meaning, it currently takes an average of 4-6 months from when you get your referral/are matched with a child until you land at the airport in the US with your child. Now, they expect it to take 8-10 months. That is NOT fun to hear. When you see your baby’s face, you certainly don’t want it to take any longer to get to them. They also expect wait times to increase as children won’t be going home as quickly, so the transition home will be housing them for longer (and not able to bring any new children in).
My emotions have been all over the place with this news. When I first heard it (on Friday we got a lengthy email from our agency explaining the ramifications), I actually felt a peace about it. And then I started hearing/seeing everyone’s reactions and realizing that this could mean a significant delay for us, and I got really upset. I’ve poured out my heart to the Lord and to Jeff. I journaled like crazy and spent a few days trying to get clarity on what this should mean for us.
We have been praying hard about whether or not to pursue a waiting child from our agency’s list–however, we haven’t felt drawn to one CERTAIN child/children more than the others. A few have been on our hearts, but Jeff & I each seem drawn to different children so far. We still have a heart for waiting children & children with special needs, so we wondered if we were supposed to pursue one and get in before the PAIR process starts in September. I can’t tell you how much I begged God to give us a sign, some writing in the sky or something. However, we still don’t have that clarity/unity, so for now, I guess we are supposed to keep waiting and praying.
Today I finally gave it up – gave it over to the Lord and decided to do my best to keep waiting patiently. Maybe we’ll see our child on a waiting list or he will give us a crazy referral in the next couple of weeks and we’ll get submitted to court before this process–but it’s not likely. I don’t understand why this is all happening, but I don’t doubt his call. For now, we both still feel like we have a child in Ethiopia, and we’ll wait for her/him, no matter how long it takes. Maybe he’ll surprise us in the meantime–but if he doesn’t, I know he has a purpose for the waiting period, and I want to learn and grow from it instead of losing my mind with the what-ifs. We’ll see what happens.
I will wait, I will wait for you…
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us. Selah
Psalm 27:14 Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!